My whole existence is flawed

Help me; I broke apart my insides.
Help me; I’ve got no soul to sell.
Help me; the only thing that works for me.
Help me get away from myself.

I know exactly what I want to say but I have no idea how to say it. I think this is the very nature or essence of frustration. To want something so terribly, which you can’t have; to want something so bad, that you’d [try to] convince yourself that you don’t want or need it, just to get it. This is the very essence or nature of obsession. I am both obsessed and frustrated. I am both of these things and many more. What these other things are and what they mean—I’ve no idea.