The Third Anniversary of Mom's Death

It's here. But I still can't stand the idea that she'll never meet Austen. They would adore each other. But Austen will never really "know" or undertand what she's missed out on.

Patrick Swayze was recently diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Ironcially, during one of my last visits with Mom, when she was still herself and not overcome by illness, she was sitting in her new yellow bedroom watching Dirty Dancing on a small TV propped on top of a dresser. It was a distraction, a carefree diversion from all the stressful cancer stuff. She had a calm, distant look on her face and when we talked she asked a lot of question about the baby and our naming ideas.

With the news of Swayze's diagnosis, one blogger wrote that, unlike other cancers, peope don't "get" pancreatic cancer, people "die" of pancreatic cancer. It's a death sentence. But why would my darling mother get a death sentence. It's still unfathomably unfair.